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Michael Thompson's Bodhran Jokes(Stolen from all the best locations.) What do you call a groupie who hangs around and annoys musicians? A bodhran player. What is the difference between a bodhran player and a terrorist? Terrorists have sympathisers.
How do you know when there is a bodhran player at your front door? The knocking gets faster and faster and faster.
What do bodhran players use for birth control? Their personalities.
What's the best thing to play a bodhran with? A razor blade. (some prefer an open penknife) How can you tell if the stage is level? The drool runs out both sides of the bodhran player's mouth. Fellow walks into a pub in Belfast with a plastic bag under his arms. The bartender asks "What's that?" "Six pounds of semtex", he answers. "Thank the Lord," he says, "I thought it was a bodhran!" Then there was the bodhran player who remembered that he had left his bodhran in his unlocked car. Rushing back, he opened his car door to find two more bodhrans in the back seat. A bodhran player was sick of the band abusing him, and decided to start his own. He walked into a music shop, planning to buy the first instruments he saw. "Give me the red saxophone and that accordion!", he said. The assistant said, "You play the bodhran, don't you?" "That's right. Why?" "Well, the fire extinguisher I can sell you - but the radiator stays." Why do bodhrn players find it difficult to enter a room ? They never know when to come in. What's the difference between a bodhran and a trampoline? You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline. Bodhran care is simple... Rub gently with lighter fluid and ignite. Then of course there was the fiddle player who, while visiting the local pub, was asked for a dollar to help pay for the funeral of a local bodhran player. "Here's two dollars;" he says "bury another." What is the difference between a dead bodhran player lying in the road and and a dead rabbit lying in the road? The rabbit might have been on it's way to a gig. Is a bodhran-player a musician? Is a barnacle a ship? Why is a bodhran player like a foot massage? A foot massage bucks up the feet, whereas... What do you call a bodhran player with a broken wrist? A huge improvement. What have a bodhran player and a sperm got in common? One chance in a million of ever becoming a human being! Collective noun: A skinful of bodhrans.
You're never quite sure of the ingredients and the spices change from time to time, but the flavor's just right for a taste of home.
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©2003 Mulligan Stew
